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Please Return The Radioactive Device: A Humble Message from the Canadian Authorities
By J.J. Johnson - The Sierra Times
Published 12. 17. 02 at 22:39 Sierra Time
If we were to ask, "if anyone within view of this message is in possession of that missing radioactive device, please return it." do you think we'd get very many responses? We didn't think so, either. But we'll give it a try anyway. Here's what we know: It happened in Surrey, British Columbia. A device -- called a Troxler Nuclear Densometer was reported missing. It's apparently used to x-ray concrete. The catch - it's radioactive. And those lovely folks of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (Maple Leaf flavored FBI) are asking folks to help locate the thing. If you do find it, they ask that you not touch it - might be dangerous. Although, after you read the next lines, you might suspect the thieves knew that. It's stored in a yellow case about the size of a tool box. The device and other tools were in a Mazda truck when it was stolen on December 6. The truck has been found - empty of course. So, if the person reading this has this item hidden under their bed or tucked into their shorts, please return it. Yes, we know what some of you are thinking: cyanide missing in Mexico, nuclear devices in Canada, and Lord only knows what's missing from Russia - or the US, for that matter. It may be ruining your holiday season, but get used to it. We are at war - against our own shadow.
© 2002 SierraTimes.com (unless otherwise noted)

posted by A Curmudgeon 12:05 PM